Birthdays and BIG feelings
- Emily Bagaric
- Sep 3
- 3 min read
The Kitchen Table - the place where I connect with my passion, my work, and my community.
All amongst the calm and the chaos of family life.
It's messy, it's imperfect and it's the daily realities of meeting my needs alongside my family.
Enjoy weekly stories, musings and anedotes of raising kids in emotionally attuned ways.
So the countdown is on. Our first born’s birthday is just around the corner and there are some big feelings coursing through his little system.
It’s been a lot to hold on a daily basis, and I’ve been reminded again over the past couple of days just how much of a big feeler he is and how he manages the overwhelming sensations in his body.
The constant attuning to his ever changing needs has been challenging, and has asked me to really double down on what I need moment to moment (which is an ongoing journey for me).
Not something I was very aware of early on, so like anything in parenting and life, the more we ride the waves and weather the storms, and then build evidence that we come out the other side.
Sometimes battered and bruised but always with some learning, reflection and mental note taking for when the next one rolls in.
Noticing what has been coming up for me in the face of his impatience, unease as his birthday is not happening now, has been very interesting. I have to take a pause and observe how my body wants to shake the moodiness out of him, how my adult brain wants to share with him it will be here before you know it and you have so much to be happy for right now!!!!!! (extra explanation marks if you’re feeling me )
Genuinely sitting alongside our kids in their feelings can be tough. It may not seem like a big deal, or worthy or warranted to have such big feelings about, but to them it is. He’s only been on this earth for 8 short years, and still has much to figure out about being in his body, in relationship with himself and the world around him.
Sometimes this perspective shift is really useful for me and one I’ve shared with many parents over the years.
Our kids come in to the world completely dependent on us at their primary caregiver, we act as their compass as they move out into their environment. As we lead them along their unique developmental path, continually attuning and course correcting when needed.
To live what becomes a beautiful and at times deeply challenging dance between a parent and child.
Another little reminder to parent the child in front of me. To not get caught up in what I think he should be coping with, or what I see other kids managing.
So today we’ll make space for the feelings, sit with them, and then I’ll guide him towards things that I know will help him shift out of the stuck feelings and come back into balance.
Movement, drawing, watch a movie, lego, reading books… something that can meet his need for connection.
It almost always comes back to connection.
Do you have a daily movement practice?
Well I want to share this one with you, because it’s been such a game changer for me.
I started Ashley Freeman’s 21 day Motivate Challenge. It’s free and all on Youtube for you to access anywhere, anytime.
All you need is a mat, 20mins a day and I’ve done it alongside the boys.
Movement has become such a integral part of my life and I simply feel more alive when I’ve connected in with my body.
This has been so supportive as they are short workouts, Ashley is a beautiful human and it progressively builds week to week.
Make a chart, cross it off daily, let it serve as a reminder that you are so worth it.
Much love from me to you xxx
Emily
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